Girl meets Boy

Why do us females have to be so complicated? I see myself going through the following motions as if I were a third person, and I find myself wanting to bloody kick myself into some sense. Nevertheless I am female, and therefore prone to the following ridiculousness...

Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy. Boy seems to like girl. Girl and boy start to hang out... Girl and boy have a really good time together and enjoy each others company. Girl and boy seem to be seeing more & more of each other and kissing and cuddling and all that mushy stuff. Girl and boy continue to see each other and have loads of fun together. Girl starts to fall for boy... Uh oh... This seems to be when the franticness starts... the following thoughts henceforth begin to occur:

Does he actually like me? Where is this going? Are we boyfriend/girlfriend? What if I'm just a rebound? Am I ready to do this again? Should we talk about this? Maybe he's just seeing me because it's... SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Once I've finally beat myself with a pole until I start thinking like a normal person, I start to realise this: opening our hearts, and letting go is exciting, yes. But it also makes us vulnerable. Which I now begin to realise is a wonderful thing!? This is the best part about boys... the kind of knowing, but not definitely knowing... the thrill of the chase... the joy of being caught... the fact that you dig someone and they actually dig you back. But the deceiving thing about this vulnerability, is that it feels so similar to insecurity.... nothing is defined or confirmed or categorised yet. And hell... you really don't know what this is, or where it's going... But does it actually matter? If we think too much about it, then we forget to enjoy ourselves... and before we know it, we're bored and not really having much fun cause we're too busy thinking about it. You see what I mean? I know how ridiculous this is... but the funniest thing is, I know I'm not alone in this craziness! Girls, please tell me I'm not an over analytical crazy person? It's just so easy to fall into that damn trap! Stuff all this thinking... I'm going to laugh at myself, shake it off, and think like a man.

Moving Forward

Sometimes it's hard to move on, but I think I'm just about ready to. I've been hurt in the past... but I've also fucked up a lot too. And the past can't be changed, nor is it ever really forgotten... I suppose we all just accept and forgive what's happened. After all, we're all just human... and to forget our past is to deny who we are. Holding onto it though, means holding ourselves back. I feel like I'm finally moving on and letting go, and allowing myself to be happy. That's a hard thing to do sometimes. I expect a lot from myself, and I guess it means I tend to punish myself a little as well... But I've come to the conclusion that we're all different and we all make mistakes. I'm nervous and excited, cause I know I'm opening myself up to a whole new world of possibilities, and vulnerabilites... but shit, I'm going head first and I'm going to enjoy the bloody ride. Because to be honest, I think my heart has already decided what it's doing... so, what the hell I might as well cross my fingers and hope for the best, right?

Peek-in-Duck!

Okay, so this post might be a little late, but nevertheless I had to write about it... Peking Duck at Good Luck in Enfield... Oh my, it was sooooo good. I've actually convinced my family to go there for my sister's birthday in a couple of weeks! So excited! Yay! You have to order the duck a day in advance, and believe me it is so worth it. If it wasn't such a pain in the arse to get to by public transport, I would definitely be there more often! The skin on the duck is amazing, and the house made pancakes are soooooo good. Other things on offer were the Kohl Rabi Salad, Masterstock Peanuts, Lamb Hot Pot... and my favourite ending... Toffee Apple Fritters... Yum! Don't even ask me to explain what the food was like. It was just yum. How can you try to explain what actually happens when you eat? For starters, I don't think I could do it justice... and secondly I wouldn't want to spoil the fun! I've been here before, and will definitely be back again. And the best thing? It's so affordable. That's what I love about finding those little golden gems in the suburbs - they're approachable, authentic, and there's no wank. Sometimes all we want is to go out and put something delicious in our mouths without the fandangle, and the hooha... If you want really good Peking Duck, then Good Luck is the place to be!