Blah... blah... blah...

I feel a little bit lost at the moment. I've had a pretty good run with boys, and I've been having a great time... call me hormonal, or a woman, or emotional, or human, but I'm beginning to feel a little empty. I guess I just want to love someone, and for them to love me back. I really miss that feeling of being safe with someone. As much as I love being an independent woman, I guess I feel a little bit lonely sometimes as well. I've met so many fun and amazing people on my journey so far, and making new friends and discovering myself again has been some of the best times I've ever had. But I guess I just want someone who I don't always have to be fun in front of, and someone who I can show my weaknesses to... and someone who will love me at the end, and still think the world of me, even after they've seen my tears, and how ridiculous I can be.

I'm not unhappy... I'm still having heaps of fun. I guess past all the fun and smiles and partying, you can sometimes begin to feel a little empty. I love being the person I am, and I am so grateful for the awesome people around me. Sometimes I just get a little tired, and all I want is to just be me... even if that means feeling a little sad and sorry and allowing myself to indulge in those feelings even just for a while.

Forgive me for my selfishness... but I want this blog to be as honest a representation of myself as possible. And sometimes, we all feel like poop. No matter how lucky we are, and no matter how things are going we all fall into the trap of feeling a little bit lonely. I've never really fit in anywhere... I've always been a little odd. I like it like that, it's who I am. So as well as sharing my crazy and fun journey of food and boys, I'm also sharing with you the honest part of me. Don't worry, tomorrow is a new day and I will have already talked myself into a better mood. Sometimes, all we want is for someone to listen. So thanks, I feel better already... x

Grrr... Persimmon Attack

Yikes, I'm turning into a mushy persimmon again. How did this happen? Could be that Hot Boy is so damn hot! (Hence the name) I was so fine before he came along... hahaha that's what I keep telling myself anyway! I can feel myself falling, and me being me... I just can't help but wear my heart on my sleeve. You see my problem is, that the last thing I ever want to be is a ball breaker. I'm a people pleaser... well I'd like to be anyway. And so I try to play it so cool, that maybe I don't really show how much of myself I am actually investing... It's not that I let people walk over me, but I tend to give too much then burn out. Hmmm am I sounding like a psycho now? No.. der I'm just a woman.

I went salsa dancing for the first time in ages the other night and it was so fun! I was also having a drink in a bar, and Quentin Tarantino was sitting behind me! I've been a little down lately cause I didn't get a call back for ABC 3 which I sent an audition tape in for... You can watch my video on the side bar! >>> There are so many things that I love doing. And as much as I love my job, I don't want to do it forever. I'm feeling lost and mushy and now I'm just rambling sweet nothings. So I will leave you with this crazy poem I wrote the other day... (don't hate on me cause I secretly want to be a gansta biatch)

I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
Makes me nervous, wanna heave
Fuck this crazy heartfelt shit
I won't be nobody's bitch!
How'd I get so goddamn soft?
Wanna rip this damn sleeve off

Food Affair

I've been doing way too much eating & loving lately, and not enough writing! But boy have the adventures been fun and so I'm back to share the love...

Where do I begin? I've been on a few food adventures to some nice new places, and with the company of Hot Boy at home, I've been at the stove doing some cooking as well!

One of my fave new places is Big Rig diner! Serving up fresh fajitas, hot dogs, burgers and Jack Daniels chilli con carne till 3am, it was sure to get my attention right from the beginning! Sitting in the booths there makes you feel like you're in a real American diner. And the super fruity white sangia is way too easy to drink. Apart from the masses hanging out the front trying to get into Ruby Rabbit on a Saturday night, this place is super cool and all the cool cats seem to be hanging out there at the moment. It's the new hospitality slut joint on a Saturday night, which means the food must be good!

In my own kitchen, breakfast seems to be my forte... Hey, when you have a Hot Boy sleeping in your bed, it's enough reason to be celebrating with good food in the morning! My new signaure dish is toad-in-hole BLTs with home made onion jam. Goddamn, they are good! (Even if I do say so myself) and apparently Hot Boy seems to agree... cause he seems to keep coming back for more ;) Although this week I made home made pancakes with caramel bananas, bacon & maple syrup, and I have to say they were definitley a close contender in the signature race... But enough tooting on my own horn more food adventures await!...

The new restaurant Omerta in Darlinghurst was another foodgasm experience I enjoyed recently! We started off with some salted cod fritters, moved onto spiced salami with runny eggs, had some char grilled king prawns (look, you'll have to forgive my poor food descriptions here... there was Hot Boy sitting across from me who was wonderful to perve at while I was having a foodgasm - it was all too much to take in detailed food descriptions as well...) but the
highlight of my evening was definitely the pork belly with mustard fruits. Oh lordy... I wanted to take that stuff home, bathe in it, soak in it, purée it into a lotion and rub myself with it, then maybe lick it off myself slowly throughout the day... Ehem, excuse me... I tend to get slightly carried away... but this was food porn at it's best! Only it wasn't porn cause I could actually put it in my mouth... Yummm...

Wow... All this talk of food is making me hungry! Lucky I am on my way to see the family with some chicken soup I made last night with a fresh baguette and truffle butter... Mmmm... Hopefully mum has some good ole Filipino treats for me as well!