Girl meets Boy

Why do us females have to be so complicated? I see myself going through the following motions as if I were a third person, and I find myself wanting to bloody kick myself into some sense. Nevertheless I am female, and therefore prone to the following ridiculousness...

Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy. Boy seems to like girl. Girl and boy start to hang out... Girl and boy have a really good time together and enjoy each others company. Girl and boy seem to be seeing more & more of each other and kissing and cuddling and all that mushy stuff. Girl and boy continue to see each other and have loads of fun together. Girl starts to fall for boy... Uh oh... This seems to be when the franticness starts... the following thoughts henceforth begin to occur:

Does he actually like me? Where is this going? Are we boyfriend/girlfriend? What if I'm just a rebound? Am I ready to do this again? Should we talk about this? Maybe he's just seeing me because it's... SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Once I've finally beat myself with a pole until I start thinking like a normal person, I start to realise this: opening our hearts, and letting go is exciting, yes. But it also makes us vulnerable. Which I now begin to realise is a wonderful thing!? This is the best part about boys... the kind of knowing, but not definitely knowing... the thrill of the chase... the joy of being caught... the fact that you dig someone and they actually dig you back. But the deceiving thing about this vulnerability, is that it feels so similar to insecurity.... nothing is defined or confirmed or categorised yet. And hell... you really don't know what this is, or where it's going... But does it actually matter? If we think too much about it, then we forget to enjoy ourselves... and before we know it, we're bored and not really having much fun cause we're too busy thinking about it. You see what I mean? I know how ridiculous this is... but the funniest thing is, I know I'm not alone in this craziness! Girls, please tell me I'm not an over analytical crazy person? It's just so easy to fall into that damn trap! Stuff all this thinking... I'm going to laugh at myself, shake it off, and think like a man.

Moving Forward

Sometimes it's hard to move on, but I think I'm just about ready to. I've been hurt in the past... but I've also fucked up a lot too. And the past can't be changed, nor is it ever really forgotten... I suppose we all just accept and forgive what's happened. After all, we're all just human... and to forget our past is to deny who we are. Holding onto it though, means holding ourselves back. I feel like I'm finally moving on and letting go, and allowing myself to be happy. That's a hard thing to do sometimes. I expect a lot from myself, and I guess it means I tend to punish myself a little as well... But I've come to the conclusion that we're all different and we all make mistakes. I'm nervous and excited, cause I know I'm opening myself up to a whole new world of possibilities, and vulnerabilites... but shit, I'm going head first and I'm going to enjoy the bloody ride. Because to be honest, I think my heart has already decided what it's doing... so, what the hell I might as well cross my fingers and hope for the best, right?

Peek-in-Duck!

Okay, so this post might be a little late, but nevertheless I had to write about it... Peking Duck at Good Luck in Enfield... Oh my, it was sooooo good. I've actually convinced my family to go there for my sister's birthday in a couple of weeks! So excited! Yay! You have to order the duck a day in advance, and believe me it is so worth it. If it wasn't such a pain in the arse to get to by public transport, I would definitely be there more often! The skin on the duck is amazing, and the house made pancakes are soooooo good. Other things on offer were the Kohl Rabi Salad, Masterstock Peanuts, Lamb Hot Pot... and my favourite ending... Toffee Apple Fritters... Yum! Don't even ask me to explain what the food was like. It was just yum. How can you try to explain what actually happens when you eat? For starters, I don't think I could do it justice... and secondly I wouldn't want to spoil the fun! I've been here before, and will definitely be back again. And the best thing? It's so affordable. That's what I love about finding those little golden gems in the suburbs - they're approachable, authentic, and there's no wank. Sometimes all we want is to go out and put something delicious in our mouths without the fandangle, and the hooha... If you want really good Peking Duck, then Good Luck is the place to be!

Ready or Not?

Well, well, well... The cat got my tounge for a little while there didn't it? But I'm here, and I'm back in full force! I've been eating heaps... you can tell by the size of my waist line. But as my girlfriends keep telling me - "It's winter" - and any excuse will do for me! Will write up a post about the best peking duck ever, very soon! I got some great photos, so stay tuned!

Now, it seems as though everything slows down a little during winter... the trees stop growing, it's harder to get up in the morning, and KY stops going so crazy on the boys... Well, not all boys... just all but one... Yikes, am I really ready for this? I try not to think about it too much, but the truth of the matter is.... I'M A GIRL. And well, we tend to think about things way more than we actually need to. I'm a little scared to be completely honest with you, but I'm also having the time of my life. To fall, or not to fall? Do we ever really have a choice in the matter? At the moment, I'm just trying to stay as cool as I can about it. But I find myself thinking about him more and more. It's like an addiction really... you start to think about the next time you can have it, you start to plan your days around it, it makes you happy but also leaves you wanting more... shit! I'm like a junkie on speed. Nevertheless, I think I'm old enough now to be able to hold it together, and I'm wise enough to know that the more I just enjoy the moment, the better off I'll be. So, am I ready... or not? Who even knows what this is, or where it's going... Does it really matter? Why are we constantly trying to define things? I think the most important thing is to be upfront and honest about what we want... both to ourselves, and with the people we are sharing our lives with. Am I happy? Yes... definitely.

To Gregor.

A part of loving, is losing. A part of meeting wonderful new people, means that people may also leave us. A part of this amazing thing we call living, is the inevitable and sad thing called death. How unbelievable to have just met an exciting new and fun person, only to have to say goodbye so soon? I'm not going to try to make this person annonymous... this a tribute to a person who was so vibrant and full of life, and who I was both privileged and unfortunate to only have known for a very short time. Gregor was a part of my family at the Bayswater Brasserie... my local for the past 5 years, and the people who have become my friends and family. I hadn't been to visit in so long till a couple of weeks ago. I went for the launch of their new cocktail list... and ended up in our usual spot - dancing on the table, singing along and drinking with my favourite people. A few nights later I was back there, back on the table, and ended up doing laybacks with the boys from the bar... All I can say is, FUCK do those boys know how to party. And although it was not until last Saturday night that I had actually sat down and had a conversation with Gregor, he was a Brasserie boy. And therefore he was my family. Anyone who is a regular, or who has worked there knows that there is a wonderful sense of belonging there, which is what makes it one of Australia's best bars. After a few drinks, it was like we were old mates.... So it makes me so sad that Gregor had to leave us so abruptly. How are you supposed to cope with that? To be honest, I feel a bit numb. It's like no one can believe that he's gone... Even for me, someone who hardly even knew him... there's that huge feeling of loss. You almost feel like someone is playing a trick on you. Life is so fragile and precious... we tend to forget that. Anyway... here's to you Gregor. I hope that you'll be happy to know that in true Bayswater style, I am sitting on my floor (and not standing on your table), sipping on a martini, and thinking of you babe x

T.I.P. = To Insure Promptness

Whoever said that it's not customary to tip in Australia? Okay, so you don't tip at McDonalds. But if you think that dining out in Sydney doesn't require a form of gratuity, then you're living in the bloody dark ages. I'm sorry, but for someone who works in the service industry I know how much we put into our jobs. Unlike what some people think, we don't get paid $25 an hour... it's more like $16 an hour... and that's for the serious people who do this as their career - that's right down there on the poverty line. Yet we put our bodies and our souls into our work -we smile when people are being assholes, we let you change your order when we know the chef is going to yell at us, we pull you off when you wanna be a wanker, our knowledge of food and wine is pretty good if you would give us a minute... and we do all this whilst folding your napkin, pouring your wine and tucking in your chair afterwards. Know any one person who can keep 30 individuals, who all want different things, all in different moods... all happy at one time? That's what we do, every night. I'm not saying that we're geniuses... most of us aren't, we just do this because we love food, wine... and we love people. We are here to serve. We want to make your meal memorable and pleasant, so you don't have to think or worry. We truly do want you to walk out with a smile on your face. But please... we are not slaves. Please don't click your fingers at us, and maybe try to move your elbows off the table so we can fit your food there... or maybe a smile back every now and then would be nice too? Call me naive, but I think it's just common courtesy. To respect your fellow man, and to treat each other as humans. We all need to stop wanking each other off a bit, treat each other with a little more respect, show a little more GRATUITY, and everyone will be a little happier. Don't give me this 'Global Financial Crisis' bullshit... if you're really doing it tough, then you wouldn't be eating out in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I am a philanthropist. I am a lover of people and of humankind. And that is why I love my job. So please don't let me lose that faith in my fellow man. Service is always included... just not on the bill. As shallow as it might seem... that comes from you - in the form of a tip.

Fate or Fake?

Far out feelings are forlorn
For fathoming my fears
Has found me feeling frightened
Falling for a friend is not for fairytales
But furthermore can be fun
A fantasy fulfilled?
Or fizzle will it out?
Fuck!
Forever is a fearless foe
That finds me flipping out!?
Forgive my frantic phrases...
For I am firm
But flexible enough to fold
Into a fortunate femme
Who finds her feet
In a food filled feast
A fiend for the fabulous